after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
