Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Please don't give away my fajitas
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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