he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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