oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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