I need help removing her.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
