dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
