'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize