how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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