At least make sure they are 18
Why
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
