They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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