You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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