Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Randomize
