I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
