hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
