you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
