i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
