i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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