just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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