Christians are straight up FREAKS
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
