return my video game
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize