Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
