I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
