im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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