But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize