nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
