at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
