mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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