oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
