Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
