Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
