some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
