My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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