im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
