Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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