Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
