I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
