Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
