i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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