I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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