god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
