She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do vagina's smell?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
