Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
