tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize