he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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