READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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