My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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