Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
