8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
