Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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