This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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