whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
