Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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