i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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