so explain again why im purple
no
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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