I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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