At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Someone shattered a urinal.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
