check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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