I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
