her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
